The Reversal
by Potterhead-Number-One
Summary: Katniss has been captured by the Capitol instead of Peeta at the end of the Quarter Quell. She, Annie and Johanna are about ready to die when they are saved. Katniss finds out some news that turns her world even more upside down while Peeta tries to prevent her from going further into her own mind as they fight against Snow. Its better than it sounds... trust me. M for themes.
1. Chapter 1

_**UPDATED TO FIX A FEW TYPOS.**_

_**A/N: So this is my Everlark Fan Fiction. This is AU, Katniss has been captured by the capitol instead of Peeta and the rest of AU secrets you wont find out till later. I hope you enjoy it, I have the next 3 chapters already written so the more reviews the quicker I put them up. I do like criticism but as long as its nice and constructive. I hope you enjoy it! HUGE THANKS TO MY BETA BOOKWORMULTIMATE !**_

Katniss was sprawled out on the floor of her cell in the capitol.

It had been three, four, maybe five weeks since the capitol had taken her from the exploding arena. She had lost hope of ever seeing anyone she loved or cared about again. Annie and Johanna were in the same condition as her, but not as bad as she was.

Snow had thought she deserved to be punished double for starting the rebellion and blowing up the arena. Every day they dragged her into a room, beat her, raped her and screamed in her face for three hours, but she never lasted that long, usually passing out.

This was her thirty-third day of being imprisoned and Annie and Johanna just got back so that meant that is was now her turn. The gate slid open, making a horrible sound against the ground and she shuffled to the back of the cell.

"No!" She screamed and looked up at the peacekeepers face. "No" She said again, weaker and more defeated. The peacekeeper laughed and picked her up by her arm and dragged out of her cell.

* * *

I don't remember falling asleep, as usual, but when I wake up I can feel the dry blood all over my body and the ache that usually follows my 'sessions.' I sit up slowly and move to the bars of my cell near Annie and Johanna.

"Are you two okay?" I called into the darkness. I didn't get a reply for a few minutes but the shuffling indicated that they were alive.

"I'm okay" Johanna said dryly and I could hear the exhaustion in her voice as well as the pain.

"Annie?" Johanna called. I didn't hear anything.

"Annie, are you awake?" I asked worried and looked in the direction of her cell. I heard some movement and stood up shakily but I immediately fell back down with a small scream of pain.

"Katniss; don't hurt yourself." Annie said weakly, her voice incredibly shaky and uneven. "I'm okay as well." She mumbled weakly.

I rolled onto my back and groaned as a sharp pain shot through my leg. I closed my eyes as I felt the pain pull me towards darkness.

* * *

I remember this time why I woke up and I am rather proud of that. Annie and Johanna were having a small conversation, but I don't tune in. I don't want to listen to them talk about the good times they had once they won the games. Times like these are pretty rare for us, when we are all awake and not in so much pain that we can't talk.

I sit up with a soft groan and run a hand through my filthy hair. I'm about to say something when there is a loud bang coming from outside the main door. I turned to the door and panic filled my body. I couldn't see anything in the darkness but silhouettes and the frequent white uniforms of the peacekeepers, which there were three of. I feel the air leave my lungs and I scrambled to the back of my cell as one of them opens the cell door.

A distressed cry leaves my throat as I see the other two peacekeepers open Annie and Johanna's cell. I look up at the peacekeepers face and my mouth hangs open a bit at the familiar face. That face I had seen so many times around the district, the one that I love more than anything else, the one that they said had been blown to pieces by the arena.

Our eyes meet and they fill me with a little hope that maybe I can get out of here. It all came crashing down when Annie's scream fills my ears. My eyes snap to her then back at his face and get ready to put up a fight but I don't need to. The moment he speaks, it all drops out of me like a ton of bricks.

Peeta is here to save me and I am going home

_**A/N: Please review! :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: Here is another chapter! Thank you for the reviews! This one is not beta'd. Its all me and so will the rest of the chapters. I hope you like it, please review!_**

I look down at Katniss and I can't help but let my heart drop. I had been hoping she was still strong and not broken. Looking at her now made me realise that that was a stupid thing to hope for. I crouch down in front of her and take the helmet completely off

"Katniss..?" I asked softly and reached out to touch her. She flinched and I immediately pulled my hand back. "Katniss it's okay. It's just me, Peeta" I watch her face carefully, careful not to make any sudden movements.

I had to get her out of here, the others had already left I think and I only have a few minutes left to leave the building, let alone the cell. She looks at me lost for a few minutes before tears filled her eyes. I scoop her up despite her protests and hold her like a bride. She hammers against my chest over and over begging me to leave her.

Her actions made me hate everything more, Snow, the capitol, the games. Everything was fuelled by the way Katniss had turned out.

I start at a jog out of the cell and through the hallway, avoiding the bodies lying on the floor.

The weight of Katniss worries me. I know she's been skinny before but this… I can see her bones sticking out and her skin is deathly pale. Her hair is greasy and mattered and I can see the dirt all over her body. I can tell that she was been sweating and has not had a shower since the day the Quell started.

I make it out of the building and head straight towards the hovercraft without any thought. I can hear Katniss crying into my shoulder and it drives me to move faster. I have never, in my life seen someone so broken, someone who has given up like this.

I get into the hovercraft with her still crying and everyone hurry's around us and I feel her tense in my arms. "Everyone go away!' I hiss impatiently and turn towards a corner that puts us away from everyone.

I sit on the small bench and let Katniss rest on my knees. With the hand I have under her knees I rub my thumb in small circles on her leg. I wanted to see her face again, to make sure this was real.

My wish is soon granted as she wipes her face and looks at me. I smile slightly at her but she doesn't return it. I drop mine then too and just watch as she slowly starts to take it all in.

"We're on a hovercraft" I tell her softly. "Heading to district thirteen" I say carefully. I'm not sure if anyone told her what happened to 12. Her face seems to grow more tired as I tell her.

"Because twelve was blown to pieces because of me" They are the first words I have heard her speak in ages. I deflate my chest for a moment while I breathe out.

"It's not your fault Katniss" I whispered to her "It's definitely not your fault" I tell her quietly. She shakes her head and tears fill her eyes again. "Katniss, it's not your fault okay? Its Snows fault" I say very quietly.

"D-Did Prim get out?" She mumbles and hides her face again. She's beyond broken. She can't take any more pain and suffering in her life.

"Yes, so did your Mum and Gale" I know she loves Gale, she doesn't love me but I can accept that as long as she is alive. She looks at me again and I smile sadly again despite myself. "He's over there with Johanna" He nodded his head in the direction to where he was sitting with Johanna and many, many healers. "And Finnick and Annie are over there" He pointed to the left of them but she couldn't turn her head far enough to see them.

Katniss looks at Gale for a minute or so before I offer if she wants to talk to him but she shakes her head and puts it back on my shoulder.

"Are you hungry?" I ask her when the silence became uncomfortable. She shakes her head, no. "Thirsty?" I offer and she shakes her head again. "Do you want me to get the healers to fix you or do you want to wait for your mother to fix you?" She nods and I don't know what she is agreeing to. "Your mother?" I asked and she nods again.

I smile a bit and lean down to kiss her head but she moves her head away. I frown but pretend nothing happened. "You need to eat then, we still have hours till we get there.

She reluctantly agrees and I ask a healer to get her some food.

* * *

I don't keep any of the food down that Peeta had me eat and I am feeling, if possible, worse. Besides the obvious of throwing up, my body is starting to feel like it weighs a ton and eyes begin to droop. I'm still in his arms as he refuses to let me go, despite my protests.

I can't sleep, not like this. I hate sleeping. The only rest I got was from when I passed out and that was still bad. I move my hand up and cling to the top of his peacekeepers uniform. I don't know how long there is till we land but I'm hoping to soon.

"Peeta keep talking to me so I don't fall asleep" I mumbled out, becoming more and more tired. I hear him but I don't recognise what he is saying until he says my name.

"Katniss..." I look up at him "Do you want to hear about Prim?" I nod and he smiles a bit "She's just like your Mother. She is training to be a healer and has such quick hands when it comes to it. Her and I spent hours together every day talking about you and how much we missed you" He whispered to me and my heart warmed a bit. "She's very caring of everyone and really brightens up the room" He added. I already knew that but it still makes me smile.

"Peeta can you not let her see me?" I asked quietly.

"Katniss, she missed you. She'll want to see you" He whispered "You can't stop her from seeing you."

I frowned and feel my head spin "No but you can. Please Peeta?" I asked desperately. "I don't her to see me like this." I mumble and squeeze my eyes shut.

There were a few tense minutes between us before he spoke.

"What did they do to you?" Peeta asked quietly and I unwillingly stiffen.

"It doesn't matter" I say even though I know it does. I can't tell him what they did to me, he wouldn't cope.

"Katniss it does matter. I need to know what happened" He said desperately.

"Need to or want to?" I ask back quietly and open my eyes. I sit up a bit and look at him "Peeta, I'm not going to tell you. I can't even admit to myself what they did to me, let alone tell someone" I say and his face drops. I'm guessing he wanted me to tell him like someone else but I won't. I'm not telling anyone what we went through and I'm certain the others won't either. Maybe Annie to Finnick but otherwise no one will say a word.

"You have to tell someone you know. Someone who wasn't the three of you needs to know" He whispered and glanced around the room at everyone. I keep my eyes on his face. "Peeta, you know I'm not going to tell you" I say "Can you stop trying to make me?" I ask quietly. I see the hurt in his eyes as soon as I'm done talking.

"Can you tell me eventually? When you are better?" He asked hopefully and I shook my head a little "Maybe" I answer and feel my head spin, again. I close my eyes and will myself to fall asleep.

Sleep has to be better than the pain I'm in. My head, my muscles, my arms, legs. I tighten my grip where my hand is still placed. I think Peeta knows I want to sleep and starts to draw the circles again.

* * *

When I wake up I takes me a few minutes to realise I'm not in Peeta's arms anymore and I feel a little empty. The room smells odd and unfamiliar and that unsettles me even more. I open my eyes and I'm met by a blinding light that causes me to squeeze them shut again. Only by the movement beside me to I turn my head and squint my eyes open a bit.

Peeta, he looks so much older than the 18 year old that I remember being in the arena with. His eyes have dropped and his sin is pale and I realise that what he looks like is probably my fault. I've done that to him, without meaning to, like I always do.

He is instantly on his feet though and hovering over me. I make a strangled cry and open my eyes wider. His position reminds me of what they did to me in the capitol and I push on his chest to get him to move. My breathing starts to pick up as he moves away and studies my face, worried.

My heart beats starts to escalate, I can hear the beeping from my left but I don't care. All I can process is what happened to me, what snow said.

_He said she was pregnant, now to actually make her_.

The words echo through my head and I shiver and shake my head.

"It's not real. This is Peeta, not Snow' I say over and over and over in my head like a chant and it eventually calms me down. I look at Peeta and his face is unreadable to me.

"I'm fine" I say in a whisper and he shakes his head. He sits back in the chair.

"I was just checking you to see if you were actually awake and not… dreaming" He added the last word hastily. I sit up a bit put he pushes me down again and I grumble. "You can't move. Your mother ordered for me to make sure you stay lying down and to make sure you don't thrash around."

I brush what he said off but I don't move again "Why did you say dreaming so weird?" I asked confused and he leant forward in the chair.

"You kind of wake up but don't. You always just lay there with your eyes open and start to talk and shout and cry." He said softly with tears in his eyes. I've scared him, I can tell. I don't even know what to say to that so I just nod.

"How long was I asleep for just then?" I ask softly. It must not have been that long even though I don't remember anything about getting in the hospital.

"A few days" I take a few minutes to process it. A few days? How could anyone sleep for that long? "They had to give you medicine to knock you out so they could fix you" He explains

"What was wrong with me?" I hear come from me and I realise I don't really want to know but it's too late.

"You had a few broken bones in your legs. Internal bleeding, which wasn't that bad. Apparently it only started a few days ago so there was not much blood loss." He hesitates and I know there's more but he doesn't want to tell me. "They have numbed you from the waist and down" He added and looked at the floor.

I don't bother to look at my legs. I knew there were the obvious bruises but I didn't think it was that bad. They slowly eased of the torture session in the last few days, I don't get why.

"Peeta what else is wrong?" I finally ask after sorting through my thoughts. "Nothing, that's it" He said in a strained voice and I stare at the ceiling.

"Peeta I know there is more, I can handle it" That was a major lie. I can barely function when people touch me in an unwanted or unexpected way, how am I supposed to handle what he has to say.

"Katniss, you don't want to know. I think you at least hear it from someone who it doesn't affect, maybe your mother?" He suggests and I shake my head.

"No tell me. Now Peeta" I demand in a weak voice, my eyelids going heavy. Something was being pumped into my arm; I could feel the liquid going in. I fight the need to sleep and rip the cord out of right my arm, and the two out of my arm closest to Peeta.

"Katniss, I'm not telling you!" He said and stood up. He began to pace the small room. I sit up again in an attempt to stop the sleep that's pulling at me. He notices and pushes me down again.

This time, instead of grumbling I let out a loud, high pitched for me, scream and I don't stop. I let it last for a few minutes until my throat gets sore and I start to sob.

I hear people come in but I continue to sob.

"What happened?" A voice screeched, it sounded like my mother.

"She wanted to know what was wrong so I told her about everything but the baby!" Peeta said very quickly and there is an audible gasped coming from my mother and she moves around, plugging to cords back into my arms.

One word stuck in my head as I started to fall unconscious.

I think, he thought I was unable to hear them but he said it, baby.

_Baby._

That means one thing.

I am pregnant.

**_A/N: Review please!_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Thanks so much for the reviews, they made my day 100% better. I'm sorry this chapter has taken forever, I've been traveling to and from Sydney for 'The Lion King' Musical and the baseball (Whoo LA Dodger won!) I also have had a ton of school work and some social issues. I do hope you enjoy this chapter, I am happy for feedback of most types (No means ones please, constructive criticism please if you don't like it). If you want me to include any of you favourite parts of Mockingjay then feel free to message me and ill try to see where they fit in :) Enjoy.**_

I knew the word slipped out of my mouth by the gasped that filled the room then silence. All the air left my lungs and I slunk back to the wall and ran a hand through my hair.

What have I done? I wasn't meant to say it out loud but it just slipped out in my worry, my frustration for her. I hear her mother moving about her bed, attaching all the cords back into her.

All the other nurses left and she turned to me with a serious face. I gulped and stood up straight. I could feel my confidence crumpling under her gaze.  
"You have no idea what you just did to her do you?" She asked sternly and I shake my head. I didn't mean to and I'm guessing she knows. "We hadn't planned on telling her Peeta, you knew that" She said and her voice was thick and stern.

"I didn't mean to Mrs. Everdeen, I swear, I was just worried. I haven't seen her in so long and she was broken and crumpled" Tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away desperately. I couldn't cry. I needed to try and help Katniss get better.

"Well now that she knows we have to let her decide if she wants to keep it or not. I don't want you to give her any advice. She needs to figure this out on her own." I nod and look at my feet. "Peeta don't feel bad okay? I am a little upset that you said it and she heard but it will be okay. She is almost healed; a few more days' maybe then she'll be out of here"

"If she wants to can she stay in my quarters?" I asked softly and very embarrassed. "We help each other with nightmares so we'll only sleep" I say quickly and she laughs a bit at my expense.

"In all honesty Peeta; what happened to her won't allow you to do anything more" She said and my heart fell. She still won't tell what happened, no one will. I know she had people forcing themselves on her and that's why she is pregnant but no one will tell me much else. I still have a feeling that that's why she didn't want to tell me.

"I know…" I say sadly at the thought of what happened and run a hand through my hair. "Do you think she'll ever get better?"

"Maybe." She seems worried now "Her body will but her mind wont for, months, maybe even years Peeta." I know this is true. No one can survive that unharmed. "You can't leave her though, that would break her even more" She's out of the room before I can even reply so I sit back in the chair beside her bed.

A few minutes after I get comfortable I hear a knock on the door and I rise slowly. I open it a bit and see Prim standing there. I don't move the door open anymore.

"Peeta can you let me in, I want to see her" She said in her sweet tone but it was still firm.

"Prim, I cant. I promised her." I say "I promised I wouldn't let you see her till she was better." Her face falls and my heart breaks a little. "I'll ask her when she wakes up, okay?" I suggest and her face lights up a bit.

"Peeta make sure you do, please. I miss her" She said and smiles before walking away a little more happily than I thought she would have been. I walk back to the chair and slump in. I close my eyes and find myself drifting off to sleep.

* * *

I wake up to her screams again, for the fifth time since I first dozed off. I spring up and hold her hands to the bed and just wait for it to pass over her, or for her to wake up. This time she does and her eyes are a dark shade of grey instead of the usual light tone.

I step away from her instantly, scared by her reaction. She doesn't do anything but start to cry again and I'm really unsure of how to treat her now. She doesn't want me near her and I don't want her to be hurting like this.

"Katniss..." I say and she looks at me "Do you want me to get your mum?" She shakes her head and I sit down carefully. "Do you want to talk about it?" I offer. I can see the look changing in her eyes.

She shuffled over to the far end of the bed. I'm guessing she has feeling in her lower half now because she winced as she pushed on her legs. She pats the spot next to her and I bite my lip

"Are you sure?" I ask and she nods. I kick my shoe of and carefully get on the bed next to her. I lay dead still terrified that if any movement on my behalf will scare her away. "Tell me if there is something you don't want me to do" I say softly. She moves into my body and I carefully put and arm around her and rest it on her back.

"It was you that threw the bread when we were younger wasn't it?" I hear her say and I stiffen a little. Of course it was me, how could she forget that? I force myself to relax and I nod.

"Of course it was me" I say softly and rub her back gently. "I threw it to you in the rain after I burnt it" Her body relaxes and I have a feeling that, that was what her dream was about. "Go back to sleep" I say very softly into her ear.

* * *

The next time I wake up I feel a soft hand touching my cheek. I open my eyes slowly and meet Katniss' eyes. I smile a little, "How are you feeling?" I ask quietly and rub my face free from sleep.

"I'm okay" She whispers and moves away from me a bit. I remove my hand and get of the bed slowly and return to my chair. When I look up at her I can see the confusion on her face. "Why did you see baby before I got put to sleep?" That's not what I was expecting.

"Katniss, you need to sleep" I say, changing the subject. "No I don't, I'm fine" She mumbles

"Am I pregnant?" She asks and squeezes her eyes shut.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask cautiously and scoot my chair forward and take her hand in mine. "If it's the truth then yes" She sucks in a breath and tightens her grip on my hand. Her whole body tensed and I mentally hit myself over and over again.

After five minutes Katniss hasn't stopped crying and I'm starting to get very, very worried. I've tried to help her but she keeps flinching and shuffling further away.

"Katniss, I'm sorry, I know you don't want kids ever so your mother said you can either keep it or not. The choice is entirely up to you" I whisper it in her direction and her body visibly flops. She turned her head and looked at me with wide, scared eyes.

"Will you be mad at me if I keep it?" She asked and I keep my face the same. I can't help you decide in anyway what so ever. I bite my lip and reach out, brushing the tears still on her face away.

"I'm not allowed to help you decide. You have to decide whether you want the baby or not" I say softly "Whatever decision you make, I promise I will stay with you" I can't help but secretly hope that she decides not to keep it but I push the thought down.

I meet her eyes again and they are lined with unshed tear. I hold her gaze for a few minutes before she breaks it with a shake of her head.

"Are you sure?" I ask "Once it's done you can't change your mind" I say softly.

"I've never wanted a child in a world like this" She said in a heavy, monotone voice. I nod and stand up. "Where are you going?" She asks in a panic and sits up. I push her back down again gently.

"Stay lying down, I'll be right back. I have to tell your Mother your decision now that you have confirmed it" I say softly and head to the door.

"Wait!" She says, the loudest I've heard her speak awake. "Maybe another day before you tell her" She whispers.

I know what this applies and I nod slowly and look at my feet. "Let me tell go tell someone you are awake then. I'll be back" Before she can reply I walk out of the room.

* * *

I turn the few corners to her mother's office and knock lightly on the door before sticking my head in. She's at her desk looking in my direction so I slip in and shut the door behind myself.

"Katniss is awake. She knows she is pregnant and I told her she had to decide if she wanted it or not." I tell her and she nods. I sit in one of the small chairs and put my head in my hands.

"You are doing fine Peeta. The best you can, you just have to give her time" She says softly "You and Prim are all she has that she loves." She whispers. I look at her and narrow my eyes.

"She doesn't love me. I know she doesn't love me like I love her, I respect that" I say sadly and rub my face tiredly.

"You should go get some rest. I can get Haymitch or G-. " She is cut off by an alarm noise and light flashing above the sign '17B'.

The room Katniss is in.


	4. Chapter 4

**_A/N: Well... here we are. I don't really like this chapter but a lot has being going on so I haven't had a great deal of time. I feel Katniss is very OC and I am very sorry for that. Peeta as well, but I figured after Katniss got tortured and Peeta's has been under a lot of stress that they would of had to have changed because no body stays the same after a war. Thank you for all the alerts, follows and favourites. They make my day, all the time. If you don't mind please leave a review. It doesn't have to be long I would just like some more feedback about what I am doing right and wrong._**

**_Thank you for staying with me!_**

As soon as Peeta got out of the room I sat up in my bed and looked around the room. The walls are a simple grey colour; the only source of colour is the small painting of a field across from my bed. To the right is a door leading with Bathroom labelled and to my left is the door Peeta left through.

I force my legs off the edge of the bed so they are hanging and flex my toes gratefully. I've never been in a bed this long so I have to stretch my legs before I try and walk. I push myself onto my feet and wince at the pressure on my bad ankle but ignore it, I've had worse. I force myself to sit back on the bed when my head starts to spin but I only allow myself a little rest. I don't have much time before someone will start to come looking for me.

I stand back up again and shakily take a small step forward, towards the bathroom door. I have to squeeze my eyes shit and latch myself onto the chair close by before I take another small step forward. There are about two more steps before I'm at the door but the tubes in my arms won't let me get that far.

Without even thinking I rip them from my arms and stumble the rest of the way to the door. I fall just as I get there and catch myself on the handle. I take a few deep breaths and faintly register the alarm echoing throughout the room.

It takes three deep breaths before I am able to pull the door open and shuffle in. I shut the door again and lock it before sliding down the door and squeezing my head between my hands. When the spinning doesn't pass I force my mind to focus on my breathing.

_ In...1. 2… 3 _

_Out…1...2…3 _

_Repeat_

I let in one more shuttering breath after about thirty seconds and start to open my eyes when a loud bang and heavy footsteps and a metal clink echo in my ears. I start to panic and I glance up at the lock to see that it is locked. I stay silent from then on and just listen to the people outside.

"Katniss?" I hear first and I bite my lip when I realise its Gale. "Where did she go?" He asked loudly.

"Why did the alarms even go off?" An unknown voice answers. I feel the panic start to rise; a stranger to me knows more about how I am than I do.

"Calm down!" My Mother yells and I stiffen, I've never heard her yell like that before. Her voice is demanding but the last word hitched in her throat. "This room is prepared for the 'unstable' so an alarm will go off whenever the patient is disconnected from their fluids without permission. It goes off whenever they leave their bed for more than 20 seconds" She sounds different from when I left her before the Quarter Quell. She sounds much more strained and unsettle for a reason I can't understand.

The alarms stop and the next voice makes my heart leap, my stomach flip, without me wanting it to. Peeta seems so calm but I can hear deep down he is stressed.

"She isn't mentally unstable. She is Katniss, she doesn't think like normal people. She does what she does for her loved ones first then herself" I hear a loud exhale. "Everyone needs to leave, right now. I know where she is but she own talk unless it's me" His assumption is right. I only want to talk to Peeta, he is the only one I can trust besides Prim and I don't want her to see me like this. Although I am hoping his guessing of where I am is wrong, I want to be alone for now.

I hear feet shuffling and the firm bang of the door shutting and I let myself take a silent breath out. I run a hand through my mattered hair and try to think of something that I know is real. Something that I know will help me stay in this world instead of being trapped in my own mind. Peeta mustn't have left because I hear the clinking of his prosthetic hitting the ground getting closer to the door. "Katniss?" I hear in a whisper. That's when the tears come. I don't know why but being trapped in here then hearing his voice is a relief. "Are you in there?" He asks but I stay silent.

I hear my shuffling and clinking before the door moves a bit. He must be leaning on it like I am.

"Katniss if you are in there I want you to listen to me very carefully." His voice is soft and very like the Peeta I have been introduced to since coming here. "I'm going to ask you some questions and I want you to answer them as best you can, out loud."

He knows I'm here, I can tell by the way he is talking. I take in a shaky breath and bring my knees up to my chest, finally blinking the tears out.

"Do you remember when you sang the valley song?" He asks softly and I shake my head. What valley song? I don't sing either. "Out loud Katniss" He says quietly and I swallow hard.

"No" I choke out and bury my head in my knees. "I don't remember anything" I say. It's not the complete truth. I remember being reaped and going into the games with him then doing it all over again but they are all horrid memories. They tried to wipe my mind of Peeta once every few days and at first I resisted but it got too much and I had to give in.

"But you remember the bread?" He asks.

"Yes" I say and close my eyes. They didn't have footage of that. The games are definitely there, all the horrid memories of him trying to kill me with the careers. I shudder at my thoughts.

"Do you remember our first games, we were in the games and we… kissed?" I hear the uncertainty in his voice so I decide to lie.

"I do" I say shakily and lean off the door. I try to rake my brain to our games but all I get are the things I already know. I hear a shuttering sigh and I bite my lip. Without wanting to I feel my hands wrap around my midsection.

"Do you remember the victory tour?" I remember parts of it, I remember a man being shot and people fighting back. "It's okay if you don't. I think it would be better if you don't remember much" He says and I lean of the door, my defence starting to kick in.

"Why?" I stammer out and stretch slowly.

"Because the Capitol had high demands and we decided we would get married. It wasn't real though" He whispered and I nod silently.

We fall into an uncomfortable silence and I shift slightly, starting to feel tired. I focus on a towel hanging on the wall as I try to sort my memories of him out.

"D-Did you try to kill me?" I asked nervously and moved so I was facing the door. "When we were in the first arena" I clarified.

"Of course not" He said and sounded appalled by the idea "Katniss I love you, I would never try to kill you" He said even softer.

"And you didn't lead the career pack to me in the games?" I ask a little confused.

"I tried to send them away from you so you were safe" I said him a quiet 'okay' and rest my hand on the door. "Can you come out now?" He asks. My muscles tense a small part and I shakily get to my feet.

"Is anyone else out there?" I ask quietly and when he answers no I unlock the door and cling to the frame. I meet his worried eyes in front of me and I offer him a small, forced smile of encouragement. My eye sight goes blurry as I make my way back to the bed. "I just wanted to be alone in my own space" I explain lamely as he helps me on the bed.

I know he is hesitant around me because he knows what they did to me and my reaction earlier must have startled him. Once I'm lying down again he sits back in the chair and shuffles it closer. He has the cords in his hands I shake my head.

"Please Katniss? It will help you get better, I promise." I close my eyes and nod slowly.

_This is Peeta, it's just some medicine and it will help me._

When he lets go of my arm I look down at it and sigh sadly. He put the sleep one in my arm and I see him flick a switch then I feel the liquid shoot into my arm.

"Why did you do that?" I ask as my eyes started to become heavy.

"Because you need some sleep. Then they can heal you more" He explains and I close my eyes.

"Don't go." I whisper out just before I let the darkness conceal me.

* * *

When I wake up next it takes me a good minute to realise where I am. Peeta is sitting on the chair with his head lolled back in sleep and his mouth open slightly. I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling as my thoughts drift back to last time I was awake.

My thoughts keep dragging me back to the conversation I had with Peeta. He sounded almost disappointed that I didn't remember much before our games. I did try to resist the peacekeepers but I grew exhausted to easily after a few sessions.

Then my thoughts race to the baby inside me. I put a hand on my abdomen and my eyes shut.

_This baby isn't what you want. You never wanted a child in a world with the games in it. You swore to yourself Katniss!_

I mentally say this in my head for a few minutes until I hear movement to my side. I put my hand by my side and look at Peeta; he rubs his face and scans the room before his eyes land on my expressionless face.

"I don't want it" I say and hope he gets what I mean. "Not this baby, not any baby ever" I say and he nods. He then leans forward and gently strokes my head.

"I know Katniss" He whispers "I'll tell your Mother next time she comes in" I nod slowly and roll onto my side.

"Am I bad person for killing an innocent child?" I ask quietly and stare at a pull in the cotton sheet.

"Of course not Kat." Kat. No one calls me Kat, its Katniss or Catnip, never Kat but I can't say I hate it. It's nice coming from him. "You are saving the baby. It would grow up with a miserable life because of when it was born" There he goes again, the tears fill my eyes instantly and I wipe them away.

Peeta notices and he strokes my hair off my face "Prim wants to see you" He says and I stiffen.

"Not yet" I croak out. He stops his hand movement for a moment but continues. My tears have gone; he is too good for me.

"Katniss, she is your sister. She comes by here all time wanting to see you, please let her" He pleads with me. I sit up and face my body towards him.

"If she comes in she will get scared, I'm not the same person I was before the Quell" I argue.

"No you aren't, neither is anyone who else got pulled out." His voice rises. "But she won't care. She misses you more than even her goat. We use to spend hours together just talking about how much we missed you and it's not fair that you let me see you but not her. She is family; I'm just some boy you need to sleep" My mouth falls open at his words, does he not get any of this, at all. "You are lucky that you have them still" He says as he stands up and walks out the door.

I look at the closed door, lost in my thoughts. He's right, of course he is but not about him being just a boy I need to sleep. I cross my legs awkwardly and stare at my hands that are in my lap.

I realise that I miss her too. I miss my little sister more than I thought.

**_A/N: Review please!_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**HELLO! I hope you guys have had a good week or so. Thank you so much for the reviews for the last chapter, they still make my day.. and the story follows... and alerts... and favourites. You are all fantastic! This chapter will probably will want you planning my death, sorry. The next chapter is happier though.**_

_**I have an idea, I was thinking of asking a question at the end of each chapter about The Hunger Games and the first person to give me the next correct answer in anyway possible gets the chapter dedicated to them? I got the idea of a fan fiction I am currently reading...? Ill ask one any way and if its not popular then I wont do it again.**_

_**ALSO! Divergent comes out in 2 days for me and I am so excited! Me and my friend are going to see it together and the TV Spot always comes on TV. Is it good or will it be like this series and get better as it goes on in film?**_

I can't even believe that I just got angry at Katniss, after everything she has been through. Once I walked out of her room I headed straight to my abandoned quarters. I got into the shower which I stayed in long enough for my hands to prune.

Now I am searching the corridors of the hospital floor looking for Prim, weather Katniss likes it or not, I am sending Prim to her. She has been waiting for ages to see Katniss and I can tell she is growing more worried.

I finally see her sitting in a small chair in the almost empty children's ward, except Rory. He was not unconscious during the bomb and has been in a stable coma ever since. Prim launches to her feet and throws herself at me quickly. I have to stumble back at the impacts but I still wrap my arms around her.

"Katniss is awake if you want to go see her" I whisper in her ear. Her body straightens and she looks at me uncertainly. I nod slowly and offer her a small, forced smile.

"What's wrong?" She asks me as she pulls away.

"Nothing" I lie "Go see Katniss now before she falls asleep again." I nudged her towards the door. "I can stay with Rory" I say as I see her eyes flick to him "I promise I won't leave till you get back" She smiles at me and races out of the door. I shake my head in amusement and sit in the chair his bed.

I'm alone for a whole of ten minutes before someone walks in and I look up and see Gale standing there. "I can go" I say and start to stand up but he brushes it off.

"Stay, Prim told me you were here" He says and pulls a chair to the other side of his bed. His eyes scan his brothers' body sadly. "I think we should talk" His voice leaves no room for arguing.

I sit up straighter and nod in his direction. Of course he wants to talk; I have a slight idea that it will involve Katniss and mine's friendship. Is that what we are? Friends or are we more? I don't have time to dwell on it as Gale starts to speak.

"I love her too you know?" He asks and I nod. Of course he does, she doesn't know the affect she as. "I know she doesn't love me the way I love her" His voice grew weaker and fainter.

"Gale you are her best friend still, you can't abandon her. There are things that I can do for her that you can and it's the same for you. I can't go hunting with her but you can. I don't know what it's like to grow up in the seam but you do. Despite what she says and how she acts, I think she still needs you." I watch his face fall once I finish speaking. Just as quickly it turns to a look of annoyance.

"Do you own her or something now?" He hisses to me "You don't know anything about her. You are just her source comfort" He says to me and smirks. I force myself to not roll my eyes at his protectiveness.

"I know what you are getting at" I said carefully. "I just don't think you are right. I know she doesn't love me like I love her either but I am certain I am more than just a source of comfort. I always thought that was you" I have to stand up for myself; I know I am not comfort. "There is something inside of her that always pulls her towards me and not you" I say and stand up.

I have to break a promise; I need to leave this room before it turns into a fight or something but he tells me not to leave so I sit down again carefully.

"Prim also said that you looked upset and that I had to fix it" He smiled in amusement and I looked at him confused. "So tell me and ill fix it" He says impatiently.

"Nothing that concerns you, it's between Katniss and I" Gale's nostrils flare and lean back "Just drop it. You can't fix it, no matter what Prim told you to do."

* * *

**KATNISS POV**

I spend five minutes curled in a ball thinking of Prim before the sound of the door opening makes me fling into a sitting position. Peeta must not have been as angry as I thought.

When I look at the door and I see Prim my whole body tenses. She isn't met to see me till I am healthy.

"Katniss…" Her voice is so soft and still I can't help but not want her here. "Peeta told me that it was okay to see you" She looked at her feet and I nod slowly. I shuffle over to the furthest side of my bed and pat the spot next to me.

Her head flies up at the noise of my patting and she kicks her shoes off before sitting next to me with her legs crossed. I look at her pant covered knee because it was the only part of her I could deal with right now.

"I missed you" She whispered softly and shifts a little. "Did Peeta tell you what has happened since the Quell?" I force myself to look at her face and I shake my head. "Well, Mum and I are healers here and Peeta has been training like crazy to come and get you. He only just made it in because he was marked as 'Unstable' which I think is stupid. He was just missing you" She says and I furrow my eyebrows.

"What about Gale?" I ask and her body sits up a little in hope. "He's changed. He barely talks to anyone from 12 these days but me when I am with Rory, not even his family Katniss" I can see the distress in her face and put a hand on her knee in ,what I hope, is a comforting manner.

"I haven't seen him since I woke up, only Peeta really" I tell her and scan her face. "And now you..." I wrap my arms around her awkwardly "I missed you my little duck" I say softly. I will never say that again I am certain. I don't want to express more emotions than I need to.

She hugs me back tightly and I have to scream I my head that it's Prim. "Why are you spending time with Rory?" I ask confused and pull away, I remember Peeta mentioning her and Rory at one point but it just seems like a haze. Prim's face is bright red and it is then that I realise what I have missed.

She has grown up and I have missed it because of the games. I missed seeing her as a child because of the Capitol.

"He is in a coma from the bombing. He won't wake up so I spend all my spare time with him" She says quietly but the redness of her cheeks gives her away. I bit my lip and she looks at me when I don't reply. Her eyes are almost bulging with questions so I nod, its the least I can give her, she wont ask anything bad, I hope.

"When did you figure out you loved Peeta?" I inhale sharply and shake my head slightly. "Katniss I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that but I wanted to know because I can tell you do" She says so frightened that I tug on her braid, like mine, gently.

"When did you start wearing it like me?" I ask and smile softly. She looks down at it and smiles "I asked Mum to do it like that when you left for the Quell" She explains and I nod.

"Why didn't you want me to see you?" She asks and I feel the mood change in the room quickly. "I don't mind that you aren't the same. I didn't expect you to be. Peeta and I were saying that if you changed we would still be there for you, because we love you" A smile touches my lips and run a hand through my knotted hair. Prim watches my hand with her eyes and she cringes.

"It's not that bad is it?" I tease lightly and she nods "I could get someone to shave it" She says and looks at it. "It's burnt in places and…" She looks back at me with tears in her eyes "I'm so sorry for what happened. Mum told me everything but I didn't think they did it that bad and the baby..." She glances at my stomach and I cover it with my arms "I can tell you don't want it" She says and a cry escapes her throat.

I pulled her into my body for a proper hug and rub her back "Prim it'll be okay. The rebels will win the war and we can go home and you can be safe forever" I tell her and kiss her head "I love you"

She moves into my arms more and I wince out loud. She pulls away quickly and looks at me with tear filled eyes.

"What did I do?" She asks panicked and I grip my stomach. She gets off the bed and I look at her.

"Just a sharp pain in my stomach and side, it was nothing" I say and another stab courses through my abdomen. "It's nothing" I stutter out and squeeze my eyes shut tightly. I hear another alarm ring through the room and Prim pull chairs away from the bed.

A few minutes later I hear the door fly open in the back of my head while I lie in a ball of pain. The pain shot through my body like shattered glass and burned all my nerves. I felt like I was about to pass out and never wake up. The pain was too much for me to handle.

I feel several hands on my arms and legs, prying them so I was stretched out. I wanted to curl up so the pain was more bearable but they wouldn't let me.

"We didn't stop the bleeding well enough!" I hear someone say and then a mask is being placed over my face.

I let out a scream and try to push them off me and get the mask off my face.

"The baby won't make it!" Someone calls and fling my eyes open.

"She didn't want it anyway" Peeta. He is here.

"Peeta!" I let his name out in a strangled call. "Peeta!" My voice is faint from the medicine they just injected.

"Katniss it will be okay, I promise" He says from a far "I love you!" He calls and I let out a sob and put all my effort into not falling asleep.

"Make it stop" I pant out and clench my muscle. I hear a lot of hurried movement to my right.

"Kat you have to go to sleep so they can help the pain" Peeta says into my ear and kisses my cheek "Trust me" He says and let go soon after and let darkness swallow me.

_**A/N: Thank you for reading! Please review even if you don't want to answer the question which is:**_

_*****SPOILER*****_

_**How does Finnick Odair and Primrose Everdeen die?**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N: Im so sorry this took so long to put up. Ive had a crazy amount of homework for the last week before break. **_

_**Thank you so much for all the reviews, follows, alerts, favourite they make it worth it :)**_

_**This chapter isn't that exciting more just a filler but please tell me your thoughts.. the question is at the bottom again.**_

_**Dedicated to jbcna**_

* * *

Prim's POV 4 hours.

4 hours since I pressed that button and ended that poor baby's hope at life. I knew Katniss didn't want the baby but I still feel horrible for that. It wasn't even my fault, it was the capitol that gave her it and took it away. I've been sitting outside her room ever since and the doctors still haven't finished fixing her yet. Peeta won't leave the room either or Mother and Gale is with Rory.

Rory. I get to my feet quickly and start towards his room quickly the tears already in my eyes. When I get there I push open the door and a sob escapes my throat. Gale stands up and crouches in front of me.

"Prim what happened?" He asks worried and I wrap my arms around his neck. Another sob escapes me and his hands wrap around my body. "Prim tell me what happened." He say sternly.

I pull away ad wipe my eyes "Katniss lost the baby. I know she didn't want it and it's been 4 hours since she first got the pain and I'm scared for her" I choke out. "And Peeta won't come out either"

Gale looks at my face and I meet his eyes cautiously "Rory woke up" I gaps and looked over his shoulder. I knew this was his distraction but it was a good one, I pulled away completely and saw his eyes still shut "He fell back asleep about two minutes before you walked in" He explains. I walked over to the chair I have been living in almost and I sit in it. I take his hand and squeeze it gently. I put my head on the mattress and let a few teas fall before I fell him squeeze. I don't move an inch and squeeze his hand again, the response is immediate.

"Rory?" I croak out and look up to see his grey eyes looking at me. "You're awake" I breathe out and smile widely.

Gale clears his throat and I pull my hand away in embarrassment and I feel the blush grow down my neck. "Just, don't let him sit up to much, I'm going to Catnip" He said and left the room. I think he forgets I can heal people.

I take Rory's hand again and I smile at my lap "It's been so long…" I say and he squeezes my hand.

"Is everyone okay?" He whispers out and I nod quickly. "Everyone's fine, well not Katniss but don't worry about her" I say but it's not worth it, he's asleep by the time I finish.

* * *

PEETAS POV

I've been shoved into the corner of Katniss' room by the seven doctors in the room and as much as I hate it I don't say a word. I'd rather have her healed than by her side right now. I can't quite understand what they are saying but I have picked up that the baby died and that she is in a critical condition. One of the doctors is walking my way, taking his gloves off.

"Mr Mellark, Miss Everdeen will have to be moved into a secure room. You cannot visit her for at least a week." He says calmly. My body stiffens and I clench all my muscles tightly.

"Why does she have to move?" I ask through my gritted teeth. He seems to be frustrated.

"Her body didn't cope well and the fixing we did on the inside didn't work and since she lost the baby it went really far downhill" He looks at my face and I nod slightly.

"Okay, just make sure she stays alive" I say and leave the room without a word. I head straight to my quarters and decide now is when I can catch up on sleep and try to eat something, hopefully.

* * *

Haymitchs' POV

"No! She will not fight this war alone. She needs Peeta and her family and that Gale boy! Don't you get her?!" I yelled at the stupid President. Does she not understand that girl at all? From the moment she volunteered anyone would guess she picks her family over herself.

"You don't get a say on what she does anymore. You are not her mentor anymore." She says loudly and firmly. She slams her fist down on the table and glares at me.

"Once a mentor you are always a mentor. You will never understand what those games do to people. You will never understand that if you make her actually fight, against real people she won't unless Peeta and Gale are with her. We both know that Mellark will get killed instantly." I throw at her and she thinks about it for a moment.

"She fights or she gets no more special treatment. Mellark is thrown into a cell because of the amount of laws that he has broken and her precious Primrose won't be trained as a healer any longer." Of course she would play those cards, the ones I refuse to change.

"What if we get her to do propos with Peeta and we keep it all the same. She is not mentally strong enough to see war again. She can't even have someone hug her without breaking down so putting her on the front line in some star squad is ridiculous!" I exclaimed and start to pace.

"Fine. Deal but she must do everything without a complaint." She says and I nod.

"Done" I say and walk out of the room without another thought. I head to the dining room and sit at a table with Hawthorne, Peeta, Finnick and Annie after getting my dinner. I grumble a hello and glance at Mellark again quickly.

"Why aren't you with Sweetheart?" I ask and shovel some food into my mouth.

"The baby died" He chokes out and spit my food back into my bowl. "And the work they did on the inside didn't work so they have to put her in some room and I can't see her for a week." Not what I was expecting at all.

"Oh Peeta" I hear Annie say and I stare at him blankly. "Im sorry" She whispers and sniffled. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

"But I heard she didn't even want the kid" Finnick piped in and I look at him then back to Peeta who was staring at his food.

"That's not the problem Finnick, she is pretty damaged" Peeta says and I push my chair away and stand up.

"Mellark" I say "Meet me at my quarters in an hour" I say sternly and walk away.

* * *

I managed to get to the hospital in less than fifteen minutes for once; although breathless I bang on the door to the main doctor's office. When he opens it up I set my jaw.

"What's wrong with girl" It was more of a demand than a question. "Tell me now" I say.

"There were complications with her healing which caused the baby to miscarriage and her internal bleeding to start again." He said with a little fear and I smirk. "She has been moved to a different room that only doctors are allowed to get to"

"Why only doctors? Why can't her fiancé see her?" I counter. "She will recover better when she isn't kicking and screaming in her sleep, she needs the boy" I smirk and flick my hair out of my eyes,

"Because we can't risk her getting any other sickness that this place has. She needs to be constantly monitored through the glass wall and have three very full meals and all this will need to be kept track of till she is healed." He says like is simple.

"So let the boy in with her. He can stay in there the whole time with her; he'll take paints and paper. Maybe even a pencil and paper but you can't separate them" I reason.

"Fine, one pencil and a notebook. He can't leave the room once he is on and he has to take his leg off" I nod and shake his hand. I tell him how thankful he will be and head to my quarters.

When I walk in Peeta is sitting on the small couch with his head in his hands. I sit on the table across from him and nudge his foot with my own. He looks at me with red eyes and tear streaks, I ignore them.

"I made a deal with the doctor. You can go in the room with Katniss but you have to take your leg off. You are allowed one pencil and a notebook." I said and his eyes light up.

"Can I come and go?" He asks and I shake my head. His shoulders slump and he runs a hand through his hair. "So I'm in there the whole week?" I nod and role my eyes.

"Come on boy, I thought you were smarter." I offer him a smile. "The faster you get ready the faster you can get back to her"

* * *

_**A/N: Review**_

_**T**__**he question is;**_

_**How many awards did **_**Catching Fire _ win at the MTV awards and what were they for? (This includes everything to do with it, actors, actresses, costumes, props, visual affects, movie of the year etc)_**

**_Review please._**


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: I am so sorry that it took me so long to post again! I've been on school break and I usually do absolutely noting but I was really busy this time. I'm also not really happy with this chapter at all. I didn't know how to put my thought into words. I hope you all had a great Easter and for those fellow Australians: Lest we Forget.**_

_**Hope you enjoy it and please, please, please review. The more I get the motivated I get to write more and they make me feel so much better.**_

_**Dedicated to my friends to doesn't have an account but answered the question first.**_

* * *

When I regain my consciousness I feel heavy and groggy. I don't open my eyes but the light of the room already hurts them. The smell is different to what I've become used to but I still smell some of Peeta.

I let out a small groan as I try to open my eyes but they won't budge.

"Katniss?" Peeta asks in a whisper and I hear him move. "You can't open your eyes, they taped them." He said softly and touches my cheek "Ill pull them off but it might hurt."

The pain was nothing compared to what happened to me before. I open my eyes slowly and meet his blue ones straight away. I don't smile, or show many emotions besides my blank one.

"There you are" He says and smiles. "You've been asleep for a day or so" He fills me in "And you are in a special room or something" He says and I see his notebook and I flick my eyes to it and back to his face. He drags his chair up to my where my face is and he holds it out for me to see.

"It's just a few little things I drew while I've been in here…" I look up at him and he hesitates "Of you and other people" He mumbled embarrassed and it bite my lip.

"Its fine" I croak out and swallow to wet my dry throat. He looks at me and flips it open to a sketch. It's me, of course, but Im not alone. I have Prim with me as well as and Rue. They are on either side of me. They look so happy and innocent and I just look, like me; Boring old Katniss Everdeen.

He flips to a few page, skipping a few and now I am looking at Rye and Prim, I thought they all were of me but I guess Prim is leaning over Rye's body and she has a sad look on her face. I look away and try to stop the tears coming.

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta say worried. "Katniss, it's alright" He says and rubs my shoulder.

"I might sleep" I whisper and look at the ceiling.

"I'll be here when you wake up" He whispered and kisses my head.

* * *

When I wake up this time I feel a lot better. It took me a few hours of fake sleeping to actually sleep but it was better than nothing.

I still have a horrible aching pain in my stomach but it has dulled since it first got there. I have a headache that is starting to make itself really known.

"Peeta?" I groan out and open my eyes slightly "Peeta?" I ask again when I get no response. I hear his prosthetic hitting the ground and then the left side of the bed sink lower. My hand latches to his instantly, even the though my grip is weak, he doesn't let go.

"Do you need anything Kat?" His voice sounds tired. I open my eyes fully and look across to him, he has dark rings under his eyes and his hair is wild and messy. I feel guilty.

"You should sleep" I whisper. He smiles a bit and shakes his head then touches my forehead gently. "Do you want some water?" He questions my audible swallowing. I nod slightly and sit up slowly.

"Doesn't" Goes through my dry lips when he tries to push me down. "I need to sit up" I say and take the plastic cup of him, sipping it slowly.

Once I've emptied it my headache is less painful and I can finally stay awake. Peeta is slumped in a chair with his eyes shut a little bit, he looks young and like he hasn't been in the games, he looks...

I stop my train of thoughts. What am I doing? Peeta and I can't be in a relationship, it's too much danger for him, with me being like I am now and Snow.

As I think about him and the realisation hits me causing me to inhale sharply.

Im in love with Peeta Mellark, I have fallen for the baker.

His eyes fling open and he sits forward, scanning my shocked expression with worry.

"Katniss… Katn…" He says but the door flies open.

"Im fine" I say to the doctor. "Its fine I was just thinking and I scare myself" I say to fix the rising heart rate problem. "Go away" I hiss and ay down, tears fill my eyes.

"Katniss what happened?" He asks in a whisper once they have left the room. This place in no doubt bugged. "Why are you crying?" He sounds helpless, tired and confused.

I move slowly to one side of the bed and pat the small, vacant spot there for him to lie down. I see doubt me in his eyes but he kicks his shoe off and slides in next to me, he tried to hide the wince.

I reach up and wipe my eyes, it'll be fine. Just don't get to close or talks too much; don't look at him too much and nothing will come out accidently. Peeta lies on his side, facing me with his head resting on his arm so he is looking down at me.

"Why did you wince?" I ask after a while of silence. His body tenses and he shifts away a bit.

"The leg, it's hurting a bit" He answers but I keep my eyes locked on his shirt. It's plain grey but closely you can see the white specks that are on it.

"Y-You can take it off" I say a little louder than my question but that was all he needed. The pain must have been horrible because he sits up and pulls it off. He spends a few minutes massaging the end of his real leg before letting the metal leg fall the floor and lying down.

"Im sorry, it was becoming unbearable" He says guiltily and I shake my head. "If it creeps you out I can put it back on." He asks quickly.

I let my eyes flicker to my face but I feel a blush growing so I look back down. "Its fine Peeta, I'm the reason it's there anyway" I say and he sighs.

"You aren't. Cato is. He cut me there knowing it would kill me but you are the reason Im alive. I'd rather have a fake leg than not be looking after you like I am right now" My tears start up again, he doesn't deserve me. He needs someone better, someone not so broken. "Katniss don't cry... please."

I shake my head and inhale shakily "You should go find someone else you know" I say, my voice full of unshed tears. "Someone who is broken like me" I say and rub eyes. I need to stop crying so much.

"What are you talking about? Why would I want someone who isn't you?" He asks a little annoyed and I bite my lip, forcing myself to look at him.

"Because Haymitch said I would live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve you and he is right" I say croakily and wipe my running nose. Peeta lies down so we are eye to eyes.

"Stop. I don't care what you are like, I've had a crush on you since I was five and it's not about to change because of what Snow did. You are letting him win Katniss, if you keep saying these things then he will win because he will have taken someone you tired hard to keep safe." He's right, again.

I look into his eyes, it's like they are screaming at me. The blue of them keeps dragging me back to him, as well as everything else but is eyes…

Before I know it I'm leaning forward and pressing my lips to his gently. The first kiss we have had that was unprovoked, almost ours. Except the one way mirrors that line the walls opposite my bed but I pushed them out if my head as I pulled back and met his eyes sheepishly.

"Im sorry" I mumbled and immediately roll over so he is facing my back. I've ruined it, we were fine how we were but I pushed it too far.

_**A/N: Review please!**_

_**The question is;**_

_**How many victors did district 12 have in the 74 years on Hunger Games?**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: I AM SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY. My life just went down hill last week. I also have a karate tournament on the 18th which is also my birthday so I've been crazy preparing for that. I've also had NAPLAN (For those who aren't in Australia its major nation wide testing).**_

_**Anyway, this chapter will hopefully be good enough and again I am sorry. If you have any questions or anything message me or review and ill reply.**_

_**The last question answer was: 4 victors for district 12 so this chapter is dedicated to...**__**PMK Kelly**_

I didn't mind that. Her kissing me was fantastic, terrific actually. I don't mind that she pulled away but the apologising part kind of hurt me a little but I'll get over it. Hopefully.

Im in a half sleep daze when I feel Katniss starts lift her head off my chest. She moved there half way through the night, muttering Rue's name. Just as she gets up I pull her back to my body but she winces. My eyes fly open and I sit up carefully and look down at her.

"Katniss?" I ask softly and she shakes her head with her eyes shut, her face scrunched up. "Katniss im sorry" I say and she grips my wrist tightly before her hand relaxes.

"Im fine" She mumbles again with her back to me. I let a sigh out and rub her back gently, moving up and down then in light circles.

"Im not mad" I say softly "Im not anything but happy about what happened" I say a little louder. I stop my hands and move her head gently to look at me. "Im sorry I hurt you though" My voice goes back to a whisper.

She looks down. "Im not in pain anymore, just the sudden movement hurt me, im fine" Katniss looks at me for a second. She changed the subjects.

I shift slowly so my back is against the board and she is facing me with her legs cross tightly. I reach out and lace our fingers together loosely. For a second I see doubt cross her face then it relaxes again.

"You can trust me you know." She nods slowly. "How about we play a game?" I suggest, she looks at me wearily.

"We can ask each other questions, we have to answer with real or not real or yes or no" I explain.

"I guess but you go first" She mumbles and tucks some loose hair behind her ear then looks over my shoulder.

"You use to let Prim come by and see the cakes, real or not real?" I ask, she response real.

"Between the two games you and tried to kill me a lot so you could be happy and the only victor, real or not real?" My jaw drops at her question.

"What? Why would I do that?" I ask confused. "Why would I try to kill you, I love you" I explain.

"Real or not real?" She asks quietly and I tell her not real, her body visibly sags in relief. It makes me wonder about what they did to here that affected her mind.

"Do you..." I think for a moment "Do you remember our conversation before the first games?" I squeeze her hands softly and she smiles a bit and nods. I smile gently and look over her face.

KATNISS POV

This game is a good idea for me, a good way to sort my thoughts of him. Im starting to think that the things the capitol made me watch were a lie but the feeling in the back of my mind won't let me fully trust Peeta for a while.

"When I blew the arena up did you let the Capitol take me?" I ask quietly, biting my lip. I know this answer will be no.

"Of course not" He whispers and he stares at our hands. "What did they do to you Katniss?"

"You already know everything" I say and swallow nervously, I could never lie well before and he seems to now I haven't changed.

"Come on Kat" He urges and I shake my head, it will make what I have done seem like a poke.

"A secret for a secret?" He suggests in his plead of desperation. "Please?" He asks finally.

I let go of his hand and shuffle backwards to give myself more space. If I tell him I want to be somewhere further away.

"You won't like it" I mumble and pull at a thread in the sheets. He tells me he doesn't care but I know he will once I tell him, I take a deep breath and begin.

"When I was first at the Capitol they would take me into a room…" I don't look at him "And they would have Snow sitting there, watching recordings of us. At first I didn't know what he was up to, he would just talk about them for a bit then offer me a drink. I know I shouldn't have but I had to take it, I thought I would be saved sooner than I was…" I risk a glance and see Peeta watching me, my cheeks flush and I look down again.

"The first few times it was water so I didn't hesitate to take it, they weren't feeding me at all. Then eventually it turned into a sweet tasting liquid and the recordings of us turned brutal. Every few days they would give me water again so I didn't think much of it until I saw a photo of you and me and I punched it. I screamed at the photo because I couldn't trust you. They ruined you in my mind. I eventually stopped taking the drink they started the physical stuff…." Tears were flowing down my face half way though. I reach up and wipe them away, feeling ashamed.

I tense my muscles when he wraps his arms around me and slides me closer to his body and onto his lap. My legs on either side of his waist and my arms loosely moved around his torso. His arms were wrapped around the tops of my arms tightly and he drew comforting circles on my back.

"So they made you think I was going to kill you all the time?" I hear him ask softly by my ear. "But you figured that out when you attacked a photo of me?" He asks and I not slowly, a yes to both.

I take a slow breath in and lean into his body more. I mutter an 'Im sorry' to him but he brushes it off straight away, claiming I can't apologise for something that isn't my fault.

"It is my fault" I into his shoulder "I took the drink, I trusted the wrong people" I explain and he shakes his head pulling away from me.

"You did what you thought would keep you alive" He tells me "You didn't know it would hurt you" He isn't mad at me. I don't understand why.

"You are too good for me." I say and hug him again "Maybe you should just find-"

"Stop" He pulls away and covers my mouth; I flinch back and flare my nostrils. "Katniss you are it for me okay? I don't care what troubles you have because I'll help you through them. I don't care what you say" He is very firm and serious that I only nod mutely.

We spend the next few hours talking softly, neither of us make a move to separate from me on his lap but I am certain he is in pain from my weight. When I do start to shift to get off him he doesn't stop me at all. I look at the cords attached to me and I sigh.

"I hate this" I say to him and me offer him a small smile while stretches his legs wordlessly. I bite my lip and stifle a yawn in my hand. Peeta watches me then moves to one side of the bed, pushing the tray full of food off the edge carelessly. I laugh a little laugh and move up, lying down.

"Are you going to sleep to?" I ask carefully and pull the blankets over us.

"I will, im tired" He says and relaxes into the pillow on his back. I move so my head is resting on the crook of his arm and my arm over his chest. His left arm wraps around my body tightly.

"You could have said something earlier" I say softly and he ran a hand through my messy hair.

"But you were awake and happy" He says and tugs on a lock gently. I look up at him and smile softly.

"I don't mind." I sit up despite my exhaustion and shift so his head is in my lap. "You sleep" I whisper softly.

"But Katniss you are tired as well" He protests but I shake my head and run a hand through his hair.

"I don't mind Peeta. I'll be fine, I promise I'll sleep" I say and he looks up at me hesitantly. I lean down and kiss his head "Ive done worse" I say and he nods.

"When I wake up you are going to eat" He says sleepily and closes his eyes. I run my hand a few more times through his hair, ignoring is last few words till I hear.

"I love you Katniss" Muttered tiredly,

"I love you" I say before I can stop myself. I cover my mouth and my eyes widened.

Its then I realise that I don't regret it and my heart swells in my chest into a painful beats.

I have a feeling I won't be sleeping much tonight.

_**A/N: Please review!**_

_**This chapters question is..**_

_**Who becomes the new President of Panem?**_


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